Look at this man, this man right here is the reason the Leafs won last night in Washington. After Polak went down, they needed someone to step up and answer the call of duty and that person was this guy. With his blue beard, maple leaf face and “go leafs” in green on his head, this man came prepared for war. And that’s exactly what playoff hockey is, it’s a goddamn war, so this man dawned his finest war paint and went to work.
The Caps didn’t stand a chance the second this guy walked into the arena looking like Andrew Dice Clay in the 7th season of Entourage. No one in the city of Washington was going to stop this man from achieving glory and that’s exactly what he did.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump tries to find this guy to give him a spot in his cabinet. If you’re looking for a winner, we’ve found him.
Oh, and if you’re looking for another sign the Leafs are going all the way this year, here it is
The greatest crime in Canadian history was when the price of Cold Shots rose from $5 to $5.50. So to have them back at $5 means one thing and one thing only, Lord Stanley’s Cup baby!
Leafs in 7
P.S. If I’m the NHL I’m using this guy as the face of overtime hockey. This man is the perfect embodiment of how tense that shit is, just 20 minutes of you sitting with a puckered asshole, it’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. He may not be able to smoke in the arena but at least he could find some solace by having a dart hang from his mouth.