According To The 2016 Census, Seniors Outnumber Children

Now look, some people are going to look at this historical number and say that it’s a problem and I couldn’t agree more. For a long time now I’ve been anti-old people, they mooch off society, bitch about everything and get to be racist because for some reason if you lived through the Civil Rights era, you still get to drop a couple racist takes during the holidays. It’s bullshit, if it were up to me, anyone over the 80 wouldn’t be allowed to vote. Why the hell should some old fart whose going to die in the next 3 years decide the future of my country? It’s preposterous, I’ll take a 16 year olds political views over an 80 year old’s, at least those are subject to change. My Nana thinks the North Koreans are invading her front lawn even though I’m pretty sure in the history of Canada there has never been a North Korean sighting. A North Korean might as well be Big Foot IMO.

Not to mention one of the main reasons old people outnumber us is because we realized having 10 kids was fucking dumb. If you have 10 kids you don’t really have 1, at least not one you actually love. You’re just banking on one or two to make it big so you can live comfortably off them when you become old. And statistically speaking, if you’re having 10 kids, your trying to add to the criminal element. Ted Bundy didn’t have any siblings and look how that turned out, so by having 10 kids you’re just throwing caution to the wind if you ask me.

So what’s the solution? Simple. We make wait times in hospitals for people over the age of 70 even longer. I know this sounds insensitive but it’s our only course of action. We make the old bastards wait, banking on a few to die and we expedite the wait for younger people. For too long have the old ruled the world it is time for the young to take action. It’s not like this wouldn’t effect me. My grandpa is about to have quadruple bypass surgery but if the life of the man who gave me smiley products for 5 straight birthdays and christmas’ is what it takes to save this country then so be it. The guy was a politician, time to put the servant back into “public servant”.

If I’m the senior delegation, I’d be pretty ashamed to find this out. If you guys outnumber us by so much how in the hell did the guy with the nice hair become our Prime Minister? I thought you old bastards were all about thinly veiled xenophobia and the Harper way. All I’m saying is, if they truly were the “greatest generation”, how the hell did they get beat by a bunch of millennials at the voting booth. The numbers don’t add up if you ask me.

In other Canadian news we dropped 4 places in the press freedom index.

Screenshot 2017-05-03 18.07.11

I guess this has to do with transparency and according to the supposed professionals Canada falls behind Slovakia and Jamaica which no offense, seems like a bunch of malarky. I mean of course Jamaica has a better transparency record. What do they have to report? That Usain Bolt is still the fastest man alive? Seems easy enough if you ask me. Still, not a great week for Justin with the good hair. First his Minister of Defence pulls a Brian Williams and now we drop 4 points in transparency. Say what you want about Harper but at least he kept us in the top 20.

Then again, I have a hard time trusting anything coming out of France. I’m suppose to trust a list coming from a country that has spun both World Wars into victories. Not on my watch


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