Prince Phillip Is Retiring From Public Life, Whatever The Hell That Means…

Um what? I thought that Prince Phillip’s only job was to show up to public places. It’s not like the Royal Family has had any real power in the last century. So for him to decide that he’s just going to stop doing the only thing that his job entails, well, it makes him look like a quitter IMO. And I mean really, how hard is it to make a couple appearances to the countries that for some reason still give you money *cough* Canada *cough*. If Phillip doesn’t think he can handle the simple task of going outside and waving, then how is he fit to hold the title of Prince? FDR had polio and he still managed to make public appearances and win a World War. It’s no wonder the British Empire has been in shambles for the last 300 years, what use to be a gritty empire has now turned into Posh Spice.

I’ve seen a lot of people come to Phillip’s defense saying that because he’s 95 he shouldn’t have to do his royal duties. I’m sorry that he hasn’t figured out the ability to die but until he does just that, his old wrinkly ass better be out there kissing babies and doing the royal wave. Or else he should be forced to abdicate the thrown. Sorry Phillip, but thems the breaks.

How can England expect to pull off Brexit if their ceremonial leader can’t even be bothered to put on some pants?

I will give Phillip this, the fact that people are coming to his defense saying that he no longer needs to make public appearances is pretty fucking awesome. I wish I could just say, “you know what, I’m done, no more public visits from ya boy” that sounds AMAZING. Sitting in a palace all day getting drunk as tits with nothing but your boxers on. Talk about a life fit for a king.

Speaking of which, how demeaning is it to Phillip that he’s only called Prince Phillip even though he’s married to the Queen? I don’t know much about the intricacies of being royalty but I’m pretty sure Queens marry Kings, not Princes. Maybe if England wanted to continue to be the empire it once was, they should’ve given Phillip the title of king. It’s hard to be scared of a country that has a prince as one of it’s leaders.  A prince being married to a queen sounds very Game of Thrones like, and by that I mean, really, really, incestuous. I know that’s  not the case, but that’s what it sounds like to us who realize that Kings and Queens are fucking dumb. Oh god said that your family was meant to rule England? How quaint.




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