Holy Fuck, America Did What? Part 4

Who could’ve guessed our crazy neighbours to the south would cause such a ruckus this week that they’d force me to write not one but two of these in a few day span. On to the dirty:

First off, we had the revelation that the information that Trump leaked to Russia came from Israel which in turn put one of their spies lives in danger.

israel

There are a few countries that scare me in the world. Israel, is one of them. You don’t fuck with those guys. MOSSAD does not care about international law and if you put their country in danger, they are not afraid to unleash hell, old testament style.

The two biggest issues with this leak are 1) Russia is a big ally of Iran. A country that has routinely talked about wiping out Israel, Israel tends to reply by killing Iranian scientists. 2) America is suppose to be one of Israel biggest allies. Despite letting them fight for themselves originally, the U.S. has become a major ally to Israel when it comes to military technology and information.

On the flip side, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was an absolute dick to Obama during his final years when he made that deal with Iran, so maybe next time Mr. Netanyahu will count his blessings when he has a level headed guy in office, not some guy who will leak literally anything to Russia in the hopes of giving Putin an OTPHJ.

Then on Tuesday, former FBI director James Comey leaked a memo which stated that Trump had asked him to stop investigating his and Flynn’s relations to Russia. This coming after Trump threatened to Leak secret recordings of him and Comey.

Trump tweet

Two thoughts when it comes to this.

First, I don’t know why the media is making a big deal out of this, every president sans Eisenhower has recorded their telephone conversations. Which, shows Trump’s completely utter lack of knowledge for how the world works, because if he didn’t think Comey knew he was being recorded, he’s an idiot.

Which brings me to thought number 2. DID TRUMP HONESTLY THINK THE DIRECTOR OF THE FBI WOULDN’T COME FIRING BACK AFTER THIS TWEET. This is possibly the scariest part of Trump, that he honestly thought he had the upper hand on the director of the FBI, a guy whose been in the espionage business a hell of a lot longer then Trump has been a politician. This also explains how Trump could get routinely dunked on by Russia. How is a guy who made a billion of daddy’s millions supposed to outsmart a guy who use to be in the KGB!!!!

Then to tie everything together like a great movie, it turned out that Trump’s son in law Jared Kushner was one of the people who advised Trump to fire Comey.

kush

This might be peak Trump. Donald Trump has thrived of other people’s ideas. You think he was the first person to suggest building a border wall along the Mexican border? Watch the 2008 Republican debates. Donald Trump just figured out the perfect equation for racism and crazy that could get you elected, but I digress.

It’s absolutely stunning that a man whose been under the public eye for as long as Trump has, didn’t realize the bad visual this would cause. I mean, you’re telling me, firing the guy whose investigating you for your ties to Russia might make you look guilty? WOW.

At least this explains why Trump through Israel under the bus. He didn’t want to get in Ivanka’s bad books, crushing all chances at having sex with her, so instead of yelling at his son-in-law, he’d rather just have his people wiped off the face of the earth. A tale as old as time.

Then, in movie news no one asked for. Michael Moore is making a movie titled Fahrenheit 11/9, in reference to the day after Trump was elected.

moore

If there’s one thing that angers me as much as Trump’s incompetence and the Republicans inability to grow a spine, it has to be the Democrats inability to look forward. How about instead of looking back on how Trump won, Dem’s need to start planning how to take the house come 2018. This is the second election in 16 years that the Democrats should’ve won, only to blow it. Sad!

And finally, we have this beautiful tweet from Trump encompassing his frustration with all that’s happened this week.

TT

Honestly, this tweet is absolute amazing, not only does it disregard the fact that Lincoln and JFK were literally shot in the head but it’s also like Trump has never heard of McCarthyism. Oh and completely unrelated but what exactly is this called?

HP 1HP 2

New Star of the Week has now been renamed to just ‘Star of the Week’

Star of the Week:

We got ourselves a tie this week. First off, we have Ann Coulter also known as ‘The Wicked Cunt of The GOP’, Ann dropped this beautiful tweet as news came out that Trump would be investigated for his ties to Russia.

Coult

You can’t teach this type of ignorance, like, I’m honestly impressed. Keep doing you Ann, you racist fuck.

Then we have Roger Ailes

ailes

Ailes did his best Joe Paterno impersonation by dying just a month after leaving FOX News for sexually assaulting multiple women. Some men just can’t live without a couple unsolicited ass grabs’, Roger’s heart never stood a chance.

JP

Has Trump Created Peace In The Middle East

No, but he’s going to try his best to quell that 2000 year old conflict in a cool 5 days.

me

Look, if more Middle Eastern countries wanted to Trump to visit them, maybe they should’ve spent less time arming terrorist organizations and more time developing golf courses. You only have yourself to blame Middle East.

This is a new award and I’m hoping that it can carry on because I think it has some promise.

Bitmoji Racist Tweet of the Week

ry

H/T @Ironghazi for the old Trump tweets

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