Was I The Last Person To Find Out ‘Dart Guy’ Quit Smoking?

What the hell man, you can’t become a national treasure for the sole purpose of having a dart in your mouth, only to quit a few weeks after the Leafs get knocked out of the playoffs. What is this suppose to teach the children? That it’s OK to quit? Because I don’t know about you guys, but my mama never raised no quitter. What would’ve happened if we had all just given up and quit when the Germans were winning World War 2? I’ll tell you what would’ve happened, I’d be writing this blog in German and worst of all, Dart Guy would famous for having a smoke at a soccer game. The thought alone makes me queasy.

While I was having difficulty grasping why a man would quit something he’s been doing his whole life, not to mention something that garnered him international attention. It all became clear. Money.


While I may hate quitters, I got no qualms with sell outs. I’d pretty much quit or denounce anything for the right price, that is, besides drinking, because let’s not kid ourselves, there’s not enough money in the world to fill the void that alcohol does.

This is also a huge blunder on the part of Big Tobacco, you’re telling me you couldn’t give this guy a lifetime supply of darts. Maybe start some sort of ‘rally dart’ tradition. I’d bet my left nut, this guy would take a cigarette endorsement over a Nicorrette one.

Oh and local Mimico boy Brandon Shanahan gave his 2 cents.


Clearly Shanahan has spent too many years away from his old neighbourhood, because no one from the Lakeshore would publicly endorse such a cowardly move.

Also, Dart Guy never having old skeletons get dug up was the shock of the century. This guy’s whole appearance screams “I’ve said some racist shit online”. One of the few viral sensations to not have it come crashing down in a horrendous way.

Screenshot 2017-04-16 12.41.54

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”

P.S. Nicorrette is such a scam. “Hey, stop being addicted to cigarettes and come be addicted to our gum”. It’s been proven scientifically that the best way to quit smoking is the classic method of going “cold turkey”.

P.P.S. My great uncle had lung cancer (?) and the last time I saw him he was dummying darts like it was nothing. Possibly the most respect I have ever had for someone.

P.P.S. In third year Uni, I wrote an essay entitled “Smoking’s Chill”, my prof was not a fan.


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