First off, Saanich sounds like a made up city. If you asked me what or where Saanich was, I’d give you the most puzzled look and say “is that where Big Foot lives?” but that’s not the point of this story. It’s become evidently clear that the animal kingdom is done with our shit.
You think it’s a coincidence that there’s been a spike in deer-human attacks, just days after Trump pulls the U.S. out of the Paris Climate Agreement? Hell nah, the Deer delegation clearly saw the news and decided it was time to strike. It was one thing when we started hunting them for fun with guns but now that their whole livelihood has been put in danger they’ve begun to wage war on us. It starts with a few random deer attacking some dog walkers but ends with some Planet of the Apes type scenario, where deer’s start jimmy-rigging guns to their back’s and begin to resemble a Bambi inspired ISIS.
Hell, if the deer delegation teams up with the bears , we could have a multi-front war on our hands.
So folks, remember to stay vigilant. If you see something, report it. You think that chipmunk is looking at you all cutesy? Think again, it’s planning a multi-level attack on humanity.