I’m Denouncing My Belief In The BasedGod

Screenshot 2017-06-05 19.31.16

 You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

As most people know, I’m a HUGE curse guy and have partaken in a fair share of my own. There was the OG curse of Josh Towers that ended his career and then there was the more recent curse of Jose Reyes, that not only saw him get traded to the lowly Rockies but then charged with domestic abuse.

I am as well or at least was, a fan of Lil B and the Basegod since I was in grade 10. If it wasn’t for him, I’d look like a complete idiot on the dance floor but thanks to his revolutionary ‘cooking dance’, I look like Guy Fierri cooking up a storm when I’m at a bar or club.

So when Lil B and the BasedGod started cursing people like Kevin Durant, my admiration for the guy went through the roof. You’re telling me the guy who made songs like ‘Ellen DeGeneres’ and ‘Wanton Soup’ also has career crippling curse abilities?! How could I not give my full faith and devotion to the BasedGod?

But now Lil B has been lifting curses like Trump does sanctions. First it was Kevin Durant, I understand that Lil B is a warriors fan but both Towers and Reyes were Blue Jays and I put my fandom on the back-burner in the name of curses. So for Lil B to cave like that, was quite heartbreaking but to an extent, I understood. But then, he lifted his curse on James Harden, and folks, that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. I don’t want my gods to be merciful, I need an old testament type god to believe in. One that will bring the wrath of a 1000 suns on random athletes.

Because, I feel like if you’re a sports fan, you need to believe in some sort of higher power, whether it’s god, Allah, hockey/football/baseball gods. If you don’t, what’s the point of even watching? If you solely followed facts and stats, sports would be unbearable. It’s my (i)rational belief in some higher power that let’s me think the Jays can come back from a 8-2 game or the Colts can erase a 21 point deficit in the fourth quarter. And if we were able to change the skin colour of Jesus, who are we to say there aren’t a couple sports gods up there.

Also, off topic but kind of on topic. Jesus was the original Michael Jackson, think about it. 1)He touched people in way that no one had ever done before 2)white people stole him from another culture 3) they could both do magical things with their feet and lastly, both their fathers are pretty big dicks, if we’re being honest.

So to summarize:

  1. I am denouncing the BasedGod until he re-curses James Harden
  2. Jesus and Michael Jackson shared a lot more similarities then people think
  3. I am now looking for a new higher power to believe in, so if you got any suggestions, LMK.
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