Breaking Down The Most Misspelled Words By Province According To Google

Maclean’s just released the list of most misspelled words by province and I figured this would would be the perfect time to jump into the world of literacy. As most of you know, my grasp on linguistics rivals that of Sean Spicer, so I will be throwing these rocks from a glass house.

Newfoundland and Labrador-Precious

Precious, as in the movie, based on the book ‘Push’ written by Sapphire? I’m going to assume that the year 2009 just hit Newfoundland and that’s why their trying to figure out how to type precious because besides that, this is throwing me for a loop. Why are Newfies looking up how to spell “precious”? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING? Have they discovered some sort of ore deposit that they’re not letting the rest of us in on. Have they transformed from Shmiegel to Golum? So many questions, all of which, I doubt will ever get answered.

Nova Scotia-Yacht 

Well, la, ti, frickin’, da. Look at Nova Scotia trying to figure out how to spell the word “Yacht”. You think you’re better then me Nova Scotia? Do yeah? Think because you’re on the ocean, that you need to show us all up by looking up Yachts? Well I ain’t buying it. You know who knows how to spell ‘yacht’, people who can afford them. So get out of here with your “yacht” queries and start figuring out what to do when the Atlantic runs out of lobsters.

Prince Edward Island-Bargain 

*Cues the Alanis Morisette*

You’re telling me that the place that hosted the Charlottetown Accord (The agreement that created Canada) can’t spell “bargain”. Ain’t that ironic.

New Brunswick-Elliptical 

Credit where credit’s due, “elliptical” isn’t the easiest word to spell but that’s why I’ve never once thought about spelling it. I guess the province of New Brunswick is on some sort of health kick? Maybe instead of looking up “elliptical” they should go to bowflex.com. From what I hear, with a few easy payments YOU too, can get shredded with just a 20 minute work out, 3 times a week.

Quebec-Blueberry 

I feel like having Quebec on this list is sort of a cop-out. They hardly have a grasp on the french language let alone English. I mean, I feel like you could put any word over Quebec and the rest of Canada would nod accordingly. Hell, I bet half those wanna be Parisians can’t even spell Canadian properly. Thanks a lot, British North America Act.

Ontario-Colour

Nope! Fake news!

I know for a fact that the only reason this is Ontario’s number 1 misspelled word is because most of our computers still change it to the american ‘color’. Good try google, but it looks like the computers aren’t so smart after all.

Manitoba-Atheist

You doing alright Manitoba? Having a little teenage angst perhaps, wondering what is the meaning of life? Are you sick and tired of the red river flooding because God hates your boring shithole of a province? Trying to test out something new? Well, let me be the first to say no one likes an atheist. You like Bill Maher? Cause that’s who you’ll be associated with. Call me old fashioned, but I’ll take this guy

jesus

over this guy

maher

any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Saskatchewan-Discipline

discpline

I was about to make fun of Saskatchewan for being a bunch of slack-jawed yokels who couldn’t spell “discipline” but then as I typed out the word, I fucked it up. You win this round Saskatchewan.

Side Note: Honestly, if Saskatchewan had just put their name up as the word, no one would’ve made fun of them. I don’t know why you guys went with a knockoff Sacajawea but might be time to consider a #re-brand.

Alberta-supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Maybe if you guys spent less time trying to figure out how to spell made up words and started focusing more on fire prevention, half your province wouldn’t be engulfed in flames every summer.

Boom. Roasted.

British Columbia-Pneumonia 

Pneumonia must be code word for fentanyl because I refuse to believe more BCers are looking up Pneumonia then fentanyl.

Yukon-Altar

Do we have some sort of runaway bride epidemic up in the Yukon? Who the hell keeps googling altar? This list just keeps raising questions. The only time I think I’ve ever used “altar” in a sentence is when I’m saying “they got stood up at the altar”.

Northwest Territories-Facetious

This is the only word on the list that I actually have no clue what it means. Supposedly it means to make jokes about things that aren’t appropriate. I guess when you live in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, all you got is your humour to keep you going. At least I know I’ll always have a home in the Northwest Territories

Nunavut-Anxiety

HAHAHAHAHA WTF? They have an anxiety up in Nunavut? I didn’t even know there was a large enough sample size living there to even qualify for anxiety. How can the people of Nunavut know what anxiety is, when their whole existence is just praying to god the last icecap doesn’t melt and wipe you guys off the face of the earth.

All in all pretty embarrassing list. The majority of these words even I knew how to spell and the one I couldn’t was from Marry Poppins, so who really gives a fuck. Canada better step it’s game up next year or we might as well just be America’s hat.

 

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