Like Some Sort of Disney Movie, We’ve Begun Building Hotels For Bees

I’ve seen ‘Hotel For Dogs’ so an animal hotel is nothing new to me, but just like how Disney couldn’t make Jake T. Austin into a star, this hotel, like ‘Hotel for Dogs’ is just delaying the sad end that comes with being a Disney child star and or bee.

I realize that bees’ are dying at an alarming rate, but have you seen Toronto real estate prices? I always thought the “Queen” bee was more of a ceremonial title but clearly that girl’s got some guap. Because we’re not talking about houses in some shitty part of Toronto, we’re talking Queen West, that’s some prime real-estate. These bees, will be near all of Toronto’s best bars and clubs and all because they can pollinate flowers. Makes me think I got into the wrong business, because the pollinating business sounds pretty damn lucrative ATM.

I am worried this is going to set a precedent for things to come though. Sure, bees might be deserving of their own little hotel in the core of Toronto, but what’s next? Condos for the spotted owl? Giant pools for Beluga Whales? The point is, it starts with bees and ends with us living like animals, while the animals live like us. And I refuse to live outside until humans have been overrun by monkeys a’la ‘Planet of The Apes’.

P.S. I don’t want to be that guy, but isn’t this why we invented Zoo’s? Leave the real houses for humans and we’ll create a simulated environment for you.


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