Despite Reports, It Is Time To Panic!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! “DON’T PANIC”? WE GOT AN INFESTATION OF CATERPILLARS AND WORMS AND YOU’RE TELLING ME NOT TO PANIC? The galls on these people! I don’t know who these so called ‘caterpillar experts’ are, but I’d like to respectfully disagree.

Whenever the word “infestation” is thrown around, it is time to smash that panic button.  Do you know what I picture when I hear the word “infestation”? I picture the bugs from ‘Starship Troopers’


So don’t you dare tell me it’s not time to panic.

Do you know how hard it is to kill worms? You can chop those bad boys in half and they’ll still live. Any attempt to kill one, just creates another and next thing you know, we’re being overrun by a bunch of dirty worms.

I’m fine with apes or something more intimidating conquering the human race. We’ve had our fun and our latest shots at the planet might be cause enough for our demise, but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to let the next alpha species be literal bird food.

I don’t know what our best course of action is but I’m leaning somewhere towards a scorched earth policy. Just napalm the fuck out these bastards and we’ll see how tough they really are. All we need to do is lour these suckers into an open field and then bombs away mothafuckas.

Your welcome Canada, saved you again.



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