Michael Phelps To Race A Shark For Shark Week

I can’t remember if I’ve said this in a blog before, but I’m a HUGE shark guy. Fucking love sharks. For my 13th birthday my mom took me out of school to see the documentary ‘Shark Water’ R.I.P Rob Stewart, so when I heard the greatest Olympian of all-time was going to go head-to-head against the greatest killing machine in the world in a race, I have to say I was intrigued.

Having Phelps race a shark does show how ‘Shark Week’ doesn’t have the same pzazz as it use to and is trying to bring back ‘Shark Week’ to it’s glory days. There was a time when ‘Shark Week’ was can’t miss television but as time has gone on, it has fallen into the background. This is mainly because you can only show so many shark specials where people survive or certain questions are left unanswered, looking at you ‘Hunt for Mega Shark’. And then you have the fact that they only play two new specials a day, and play the replays from the day before. It drives me crazy. There is no reason to have ‘Ice Road’ truckers on during ‘Shark Week’, all 24 hours of Discovery’s programming should be dedicated to all things shark. ‘Shark Week’ is older then I am, so I guarantee they have enough old specials to fill the day and then have their two prime time specials every night.

As for the race itself, I don’t think it’s going to be all that good. I assume it will be Phelps swimming in a pool where he’s timed and then they show the speeds of a Great White shark. Nobody wants to see that, we need Phelps to be in the same pool as the shark to make this thing interesting. We already know Phelps is fast, let’s see how much faster he is once the fear of being eaten alive sets in. Plus, the Shark needs motivation to go full speed and eating the worlds greatest Olympian seems like the type of prize that’ll get this shark salivating. Stingrays have been way to cocky ever since they killed the Crocodile Hunter. Time for Sharks to get a high profile kill of their own. There’s not a living breathing soul out there who wouldn’t watch Phelps swim as fast as possible as a shark tries to eat him. Hell, discovery could turn it into a PPV and make some money off it, and then donate said money to a shark charity.

This race has a very Mayweather vs. McGregor type of feel, in where one person has nothing really to lose, while the other, has everything to lose. I don’t think anyone expects Phelps to beat the shark and really he’s just in it for the publicity. The guy has an almost erotic asphyxiation with water, so there was no way Phelps was turning down another opportunity to get into the pool. But for the Shark, he has the weight of his whole species on his shoulders. Each year, millions of sharks are senselessly slaughtered, it’s been a rough couple decades to be a shark, if we’re being honest. Jaws was a PR nightmare for those guys. So this is their chance to get back into everyone’s good graces. But if he were to lose, the shark community might as well pack their shit up and leave. Can’t be the king of the ocean, only to be beaten by some stoner from Maryland.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s