Venus Williams Killed An Old Person Over The Weekend

Well at least we can finally put an end to the debate on whether or not Venus Williams could kill more people then someone on the male circuit. Venus killed the man driving at the erratic speed of 5mph. Luckily for us all more people weren’t killed but then again, Venus is powerless without her banshee scream.

Now, I don’t tend to defend killers, unless they’ve helped me in fantasy football, because I find it to be in poor taste. But I think I gotta take Venus’ side on this one. The crash actually took place two weeks ago. This shows a lack of perseverance on the deceased’s part. You can’t be going around claiming to be from the greatest generation, only to die two weeks after being in a car accident. Secondly, being an old person in a vehicle, might as well be a pre-existing condition. Anytime anyone over the age of 60 gets behind the wheel or into a vehicle they are tempting fate. In all reality this was just a form of social Darwinism. Venus Williams’ being the dominant species took out a lesser species.

So if you ask me, Venus shouldn’t be punished, but thanked for taking out someone who was sucking the lifeblood out of the American healthcare system.

P.S. Big news week for the Williams’ sisters, first you got McEnroe saying Serena would be ranked 700th and now you got Venus killing old men. I guess we at least know female tennis players have a more killer instinct then men.


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