Congratulations To North Korea For Launching Their Farthest Missile TO Date

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It’s the first day back to work after the long weekend and if you’re like me, you probably feel like death. Trying to figure out whether you’re still a little drunk or just soo hungover that your body has forgotten how to function. Because of this, I figured I’d start the week off with a lighter topic, as North Korea launched their farthest Missile to date.

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Scientists are saying that the North Koreans now posses the ability to launch a missile that’s capable of hitting Alaska. So, thoughts & prayers to the Palin clan, as their home could be the next ‘Fallout’ setting.

I do think the North Koreans are up to something a little more sinister then just trying to wipe Alaska off the map. Has anyone else noticed that all these missile tests end with a rocket in the water and not on land. Why haven’t the North Koreans launched a missile that landed in one of the many neighboring countries? What are the North Koreans bombing or more specifically, whom? Could the North Koreans be attempting to stop the rise of the beast they call Godzilla or perhaps even worse, are they trying to summon him for their own nefarious purposes. While it’s hard to come to a conclusion on the subject matter, one should not count out the possibility.

While North Korea tends to be a relatively secretive nation, they were kind enough to give us some photos from the successful launch. Because nothing screams “death to the west” like a photo-op.

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In our first photo we have Supreme Leader lil Kim looking up at his glorious triumph. If you look in the background you can see the smiles of 4 men who know that because of this, they will live to see another day and not die in a humiliating fashion. That can’t be said for whomever forgot to give the Supreme Leader a pair of sunglasses. Can’t have lil kimmy kim kim using his hand to block out the sun like some chump. The guy needs some dope ass shades for such a big occasion.

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We then have the Supreme Leader looking happier then a pig in shit. lil Kim has a smile that could light up the world. It’s a shame his father couldn’t see such a monumental occasion but I bet he’s looking down in heaven, smiling. It’s a scene so beautiful, it almost brings a tear to my eye.

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And finally we have a photo of the Supreme Leader doing the final math to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. People forget that besides being the world’s greatest golfer and basketball player, he’s also a super genius. A real renaissance man if you will.

Sadly for Kim, it wasn’t all good news as the haters and losers were at it again, missile-shaming the man.

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No disrespect to Donnie from the Block but he better watch himself. As Canadian poet Drake once said, “trigger fingers turn to twitter fingers”. Does Kim Jong Un have a fetish for missiles? Yes, but this is 2016, I’m not here to sex shame and I mean if we’re being honest this is a little bit of pot meets kettle.

I’ll just chalk up Trump’s anger as miscommunication. It’s clear that the North Koreans saved their best rocket for the 4th of July to honour the creators of the nuclear bomb.

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