The CFL Has Hired Their New Commissioner

Big news coming out of the CFL. After taking my advice to fire former commissioner Jefferey Orridge, the CFL has gone on to announce that their new commissioner will be ex-CFLer Randy Ambrosie. Off the bat, I don’t like the hire ‘Ambrosie’ (?) what type of millennial name is that. Commissioners need to have good strong last names and preferably one with double letters in it. Like Bettman or if you’re an extra credit guy, Goodell. Do I think that if the MLB had a commissioner with double letters in his name, they would’ve been able to avoid the whole Roughed Odor jerk-off scandal? Yes, yes I do.

But back to Ambrosie, besides sounding like a millennial, the name also has a sort of French ring to it, which is strike two in my books and then to make matters worse, he’s from known enemy of the program, Winnipeg. How can we expect someone from small town Canada to deal with the bright lights that come with being the CFL commissioner. I wouldn’t be shocked to hear that Ambrosie is nose deep in cocaine and hookers by September.

Ambrosie’s business acumen is as troublesome as his name. Ambrosie oversaw the CFL’s expansion into the United States. A move that would cost Canada it’s only Grey Cup loss. It’s one thing that we’ve never won a Super Bowl but to know that the U.S. has won both is a real kick in the dick. He as well wanted to lower the import level for the amount of Canadian players each team needed, leading this journalist to think that Ambrosie may be in fact, anti-Canadian. And until Ambrosie comes out and states otherwise, that should be the narrative that follows him. I mean, do you know where he was during Canada Day? Me neither, but with over 150 countries in the world, the odds he was somewhere that wasn’t Canada are greater then the odds that he was.



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