Yesterday Kirk Cousins opted to forgo signing a contract extension and will once again play under the franchise tag. For those of you who don’t know what the franchise tag is, it allows teams to keep a player for an extra year, even if he doesn’t want to stay, with the flip side being that they have to pay him the average of the top 5 players of his position. So, with Kirk forgoing the typical route of signing a long extension, team President Bruce Allen was forced to answer some questions. The only issue was, he kept calling his starting QB by the wrong name…
Now, I’ve never been a team president, hell, I haven’t won a Super Bowl or World Series on PS4 in probably 3 years, so I won’t pretend to be some sort of competent person. That being said, it’s probably not a good sign when you’re screwing up the face of your franchises’ first name, especially when it’s something easy like Kirk. Does this mean Bruce Allen thinks the captain of the Star-ship Enterprise is named Captain Kurt, because for as long as Cousins has been around, his nickname has been Captain Kirk, which means Bruce Allen not only doesn’t know the name of his starting QB but also has a lack of pop culture knowledge, which for me is a giant red-flag. Then again, having a lack of knowledge when it comes to names will help Allen deflect all the criticism Washington draws for being called the Redskins.
Also, if we’re being honest,
Kurt Kirk is probably gonna end up being the QB for the 9ers next season, so there’s no need to learn you’re QB’s name, when you’ll be drafting your 3rd QB in 5 years.
Then, in other NFL news, former Texan and Colts wide receiver Andre Johnson was bestowed the second highest honour in the NFL as it was announced that he’d be receiving a place in the illustrious Texans’ Ring of Honor.
Andre joins Texan greats like David Carr, Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfels as some of the Texans greatest players… OK, I might’ve made up that last part but being the best Texan is like being the world’s best bowler, who the fuck cares? My bitterness might also stem from the fact that the Andre Johnson-Colts experiment was an absolute disaster and made me look like a big ole idiot on twitter after I tweeted this out before the season started.
How was I to know that Luck would explode into a million pieces. Curse you Ryan Grigson, curse you to hell.
P.S. Dan Snyder low-balling Kirk Cousins after giving Albert Haynsworth $100 mil, is why he’s the best in the biz.