Trump & Putin Had A Secret Meeting, Possibly Discussing Friendship Bracelets

Another day, another Trump-Russia secret meeting. This time between The Donald and head Russian/shirtless horseback riding enthusiast, Vladimir Putin. Now, Trump was quick to deny this meeting, going to his favourite medium to denounce such siliceous allegations.

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only to be foiled by those pesky people at the White House…

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A lot of people seem to think that it was fishy and a little stupid of Trump to go into a secret meeting with Putin, trusting only Putin’s interpreter, but this journalist couldn’t disagree more. Trump doesn’t need his own translator because he literally wrote the book on the “art of the deal”. Putin may be Ex-KGB, but how many books has he authored? Exactly. It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking English or Russian, as long as you’re talking about getting a deal done, Trump always has the upper-hand. That’s why Putin brought a translator despite speaking near perfect English, he needed moral support in the room.

And it’s not like we have any proof that they met for nefarious reasons. Has anyone ever considered the fact that Trump just really,really,really, wants a friend in the world and Putin is just extending an olive branch. I mean, just look at this photo:

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Trump’s all the way at the end. That’s not where the leader of the free-world should be standing, that’s where you put Steven Glansberg. And it’s not just the world leaders who are being mean to Trump, even his own party is starting to doubt his divine excellence, as Senate Majority leader and 6 foot-tall human scrotum Bitch Mitch McConnell announced that the Republican health care bill, didn’t have enough votes to pass, sad!

So while everyone is being mean to Trump, Putin has been the exact opposite, inviting him to dinners, letting Trump’s kids feel important all things good friends would do. I wouldn’t be surprised to see at the next gathering of world leaders, Putin and Trump wearing matching friendship bracelets a’la Obama & Biden.

So, while I’ll concede that Trump should maybe, stop, taking all these secret meetings. I still think he has the right to be friends with whomever he wants. Where in the Geneva Convention does it say otherwise? If Trump & Putin want to discuss friendship bracelets and or where they’ll take their next couple’s vacation, where Putin screws Melania, as Trump plays with himself in the corner, then so be it. That’s their decision, not ours

Not to mention, how can we be certain that Trump wasn’t just asking Putin the secrets to getting your country to host the World Cup and Olympics? It’s been close to 20 years since the States hosted anything meaningful, all the while Russia is swimming in all that sweet, sweet, Olympics guap.

P.S. If & when Trump goes on the defensive for this, he needs to flip the script. Don’t go after ‘Crooked Hillary’ go after FDR and Truman for not being tough enough on the Soviets during the early days of the Cold War. Had Truman just nuked Russia, we would’ve been able to avoid this whole mess. Sure, I’d probably be writing this blog on a piece of paper in a fallout shelter but those are the sacrifices we make in order to not have to pretend that this shit surprises us anymore.

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