Update On My Doppelganger: He Wasn’t Fucking Around

not me

First off, I’d like to thank the good people over at the Swiss police department for reading my emails and updating this wannabe Leatherface’s photo, so that he resembles less like me. Sure, the schnoz and overall sadness of the guy still bares a strong resemblance to yours truly but I think it’s evidently clear that this guy, is not me.

Secondly,

not me 2

Chill the fuck out fake OnePercent. There’s no need to be running around with a chainsaw AND two crossbows, that’s just overkill and is probably the reason why you were unsuccessful at your attempt to reenact your favourite horror movies. Leave it to someone who resembles me to be armed to the teeth only to find himself without a single kill on his belt. Talk about useless…

If I was the Swiss, I wouldn’t even throw fake me into a real prison, I’d just put him in one of those head-locking machines and have people throw tomatoes at him, Middle-Ages style.

shame

Also, I don’t wanna tell fake me how to carry out armed attacks but maybe start off with the crossbows seeing as those bad boys got some range. We’re all just lucky this guy didn’t have a passport or he’d be stocking up on AR-15 down south, instead of sitting in a Swiss prison cell.

But once again, I’d like to make it evidently clear, I was not in, nor ever been to Switzerland and despite a strong resemblance, me and Franz Wrouis are two completely different people.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s