Leave It To The Hammer To Be Overrun By Alligators

And this is why you don’t get married folks,,, One second you’re saying I do and 25 years later there’s a goddamn alligator in your back yard. It’s a tale as old as time. This incident proves that my theory on building a wall between Canada and The United States is still the most correct take on the internet. Alligators don’t come from Canada, despite their cold blood, they actually hate the cold. People forget that Reptiles need to be in warm climates in order to survive. Thus giving us the conclusion that this was either illegally imported from the United States or he mozzied is way on up to Canada. Most likely to ensure he didn’t become a mantle piece at one of Trump’s golf courses.

I can’t imagine the terror that must go through someone’s head when they walk out and see a gator. I’m sure Floridians have gotten use to it but so would I, if all I did was smoke meth all day. Hard to be scared of an alligator when you think you got bugs crawling in your skin. But in Canada? Dios Mios! If I walked out and saw a gator in my backyard, I’d run into my house faster then Usain Bolt runs the 100m. You expect bears maybe a cougar depending on where you live but never an alligator.

I just hope they don’t kill the guy because if I find out that this alligator was put down, there will be hell to pay. The alligator delegation will not stand for another summer of slaughter, like last year.




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