Does Bringing Your Phone To Class Turn Students Into School Shooters? An Investigative Report:

As most readers know, this past week I’ve been a teaching assistant at a middle-school, because for some reason my new university thinks it’s best to send us to a placement before we’ve even taken a real class. A real, sending the lambs to the slaughter situation but hey, contents, content.

Today I was mainly teaching in the library, allowing me to hear the librarians’ spiel. Now, by all accounts, this is the coolest librarian I’ve ever met but he did throw out one, quite noticeable curveball.  He brought up the comparison of bringing your phone to class Vs. a gun, twas a real Antifa V. Nazi type of thing. He asked what’s the difference between a student bringing a phone to class compared to a student bringing a gun, both are against the rules, yet one we all actively break.

At first I was like, is this a fucking joke? What type of question is this, obviously they’re not the same but then I started thinking, and it’s not as clear cut as I once thought.

My first argument, was that a phone can be used for emergencies but then I realized that, that’s exactly what gun owners think. He also brought up the fact that if your parents need to contact you, they can just call the office, who will then call for you.

So round 1 ended in a draw.

Ok but then I was like, why would you need a gun in library? Only to remember, why would you need your phone in a library? You’re surrounded by all the information in the world that the TSDB could afford to spare and there are computers. So… if you’re bringing a phone to class, like a gun, you’re there to cause a ruckus.

Once again, we found ourselves in a draw. 2-2

In a last ditch effort to win the argument in my head, I claimed that this was all bullshit because the difference between a phone and a gun is that ones a phone AND ONES A FUCKING GUN.

Dumb move on my part. Whoever swears first, almost always loses.

It was after this point when I was hit with a point I couldn’t counter. Name one school shooting that took place before the advent of cell phones? You can’t!

So, it has become apparent, that bringing a cell phone to class is the moral equivalency as bringing a gun.

They say, you learn something new everyday and I like to think today, we all learned a little something.


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