Wiarton Willie Is Dead.

I’d like to be the first to say that 2017 needs to just end already. 2017 has officially killed more celebrities then heroine and cocaine, COMBINED!
It’s not even like Wiarton was old, he was only 13. Prince’s in the 1200s died at 13, not celebrities in 2017. Now, the autopsy has yet to be released, hopefully when that gets released to the public, the cause of Wiarton’s early demise will come to light. Was it another instant of a celebrity being unable to handle their drugs or is their something sinister afoot? Perhaps someone was getting a little sick and tired of the famous groundhog, maybe someone thought it was their time to shine. Now I’m not accusing anyone of anything but could someone please check on Ted Cruz’s groundhog (you know that’s the type of pet he’d have… that and a farrot), we already know his dad helped assissinate JFK, so why wouldn’t his groundhog kill Wiarton Willie? People forget that Ted Cruz was originally born in Canada, so this isn’t completely preposterous.

It’ll be interesting to see who stakes claim to Wiarton’s position as Chief North American Meteorologist, I don’t know if Wiarton had any children. But if celebrity groundhogs are anything like celebrity horses, Wiarton will have plenty of offspring vying for the throne, if you will. We could see a groundhog civil war, the likes of which we’ve never seen before. This will make Wiarton 1’s succession look like Wiarton the 8ths. 

R.I.P. Wiarton Willie. You beautiful SOB


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