Colts Beat The Heralded Cleveland Browns. Avoid Going 0-3 And I Think I Love Jacoby Brissett 

Oh baby, what a game. The score may say 31-28 but the score is deceiving. The Colts all but dominated the powerhouse team that is the Cleveland Browns, led by Madden 2007 Michael Vick impersonator, Jacoby Brissett.

I call him Jacoby Brisket because he feeds his team. Brissett completed passes to 9 different receivers, finding whomst ever was open and launching lasers into their arms. T.Y. Hilton was Brissett’s clear go-to target, as Ghost caught 7 passes for 153 yards and a touchdown. Brissett himself, threw for 259 yards and a touchdown, maybe the morse impressive fact, is that he only had 7 incompletions, going 17 for 24. But let’s cut the shit, we’re not here to talk about Brissett’s passing game, we’re here to talk about that man’s ability to run.

This is definitely one of those times where I wished I possessed video technology, but alas, we shall persevere. Because, Brissett was scrambling around in the pocket like his life depended on it. Then again, looking at how Andrew Luck’s fairing, I guess you could make the case that his life was actually on the line. For real though, I swear to god, he should’ve been sacked close to 1000 times, yet Brissett was able to evade defenders, like my step-dad, when it comes to child support payments. I haven’t seen a group of brown shirts fooled this badly since Operation Bodyguard.

Now, while the score may make it seem like the Colts D played like shit but the numbers don’t tell the whole story. While they did give up 28 points, 14 of those points came closer to garbage time, and by the time the 3rd quarter came to a close, I think most Colts’ fans’ were confident that we had it in the bag. The Colts secondary picked off rookie Browns QB Deshone (definitely not a German) Kizer 3 times and held the Browns to 111 rushing yards. Whenever the Colts can give up less then 150 rushing yards in a game, you know it couldn’t have been that bad.

The craziest part of all this, isn’t the game itself but rather the fact that Colts may have swindled the Patriots in the Brissett-Dorsett deal. Sure it’s only been two games but both games he managed masterfully. I might go as far to say that we have a QB controversy brewing in Indy.

The Colts play the Seahawks next week, who just so happen to also be 1-2. It’s in Seattle during Sunday night football, so it’s not looking good. But then again, David’s odds weren’t looking so great and he killed Goliath with a slingshot.

Colts Record: 1-2

Prediction: 9-7


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