I Am All In On Fat Kanye

I don’t know when Kanye started packing on the pounds but I absolutely love it! It’s almost a proven fact that the fatter you are, the more talented you are, whether it be: Biggie Smalls and Big Pun or Chris Farley and Jim Gaffigan. The point is mass x talent=Immortality. 

I’ve heard of instances of men putting on sympathy weight when their significant other gets pregnant but I gotta think this is a first for a surrogate pregnancy. I don’t have children and if LeBron James has taught me anything, it’s that people without kids can’t speak about those who do, but I do find it interesting that Kanye is gaining sympathy weight with him and Kim’s surrogate. Say what you want about Yeezy, but don’t say he ain’t a feminist.

The flip side to this of course is that Kanye isn’t taking his breakup with Jay-Z all that well. If I’ve learned anything from TV, it’s that when a couple breaks up, one of them crumbles into a puddle of icecream and it’s looking like Yeezus may have succumb to the calling that is McDonald’s. Kanye might’ve been able to escape from Nike but the Jumpman ain’t got shit on Ronald McDonald when it comes to locking people down. Ronald McDonald literally has a house where he just lures families to spend time during the summer like a modern day John Wayne Gacy.

No matter the case, if you’re a Kanye fan you got be excited as the prospect of Fat Kanye. In the rap community there’s a term called ‘eatin’ and it’s clear that Ye’s been eating and hard. He did say his next rap album was gonna be named after the Turbo Grafx-16 video game console, so maybe like a young Daniel Day-Lewis, Mr. West has just been locked in his Wyoming cabin mastering his craft, waiting in the dark to finally drop an album that he’s talked about for almost 3 years now.

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