I have loved football for as long as I can remember. Granted, I have the memory of a goldfish but the point remains, I love football. I’ve watched it every Sunday since I was a child, I’ve lost hundreds if not thousands of dollars on it. Depriving who knows how many strippers from bachelor degrees.
The problem that I’ve had last couple years, is that the Colts have been an absolute shit show. Sure, they made the playoffs in Luck’s first couple years but since then, anarchy. I don’t even look forward to Sunday’s half the time, because I’m ready to watch the Colts lose to the fucking Jacksonville Jaguars despite the fact that Blake Bortles has the arm ability of a retired Peyton Manning.
This is why I have to ask, unless your a Pats fan, is there a better feeling then your team not playing on a Sunday? You get to just lounge around and watch Redzone all-day. It’s marvellous, just a bukkake of touchdowns and no 4 hours of staring at Chuck Pagano’s stupid face pondering horrible things like “I can’t believe I’m actually team cancer”. You know, normal self-loathing football shit like that.
And since I actually got to see a bunch of other teams play this weekend I figured I’d talk about a few things I noticed.
- Should getting a concussion as a Quarterback count as PED? This Sunday, Kirk Cousins took a monstrous hit that put him in concussion protocol for about 3 plays. He then returned and began to torch the Saints building a 15 point lead in the process. They say a Quarterback needs to have a short memory and a concussion is just the remedy, to help you forget about a pick-6. If I’m Roger Goodell I’m suspending Captain Kirk for at least 4 games AKA the same amount for smoking the devils lettuce.
- The Buffalo Bills should be relegated to the CFL. Yesterday was one of the only times I can ever remember where all the internet was on the same side. That side? Thinking the Bills were fucking idiots for benching their QB even though they were in a Wild Card spot. The Bills decided to bench Tyrod Taylor in favour of Nathan Peterman. Nathan would go on to throw 5 interceptions in the first half, leading to him being replaced by Taylor. I haven’t seen a Buffalo Bill make that costly of a decision in LA since OJ Simpson.
- Donald Trump may try to charge Marshawn Lynch with treason after he stood for the Mexican National Anthem but sat for the American one. First of all, I think we can all agree that Mexico has a GREAT human rights track record. Bust most importantly, does Donald Trump want to die? There are very few people I won’t talk shit about and one of them happens to be named Beastmode. Does Donald Trump really want to go against a guy who did this? Not to mention, Marshawn spent his suspension bullying high school kids on the football field.all the while the Donny doesn’t even know how to drink a fucking water bottle.