The State of Florida Is Wasting No Time In Trying To Ensure Another School Shooting Never Happens Again.

After a senseless tragedy, we as a society tend to overcorrect our mistakes. WW1 gave us the Treaty of Versailles and the failing League of Nations, all in an effort to ensure that another war never broke out again…Which brings us to WW2, where after we won that bad boy, we decided we could no longer have “enemies” and next thing you know, the Japanese are making the best cars and the Germans are playing for gold in hockey. Or the fact that because Eric Clapton’s kid thought he was Superman and plunged to his death, we allowed Zach Snyder to direct two Superman movies and I have to listen to every music snob talk about the greatness of Eric Clapton.

The point is, we always overcorrect and things usually end up being worse not better. So it’s a breath of fresh air to see the state of Florida go in the COMPLETELY different direction then common-sense would dictate. But that’s just Florida’s style, this is the same state that has bath salts on their state flag. Truthfully, I’m a little shocked, nay, stunned, that Florida is just implementing this. If you put a gun to my head and asked me “which state currently arms school teachers” I’d guess Florida in a heartbeat and next thing you know, my brains are splattered on the ground like the next school shooter who comes walking into Mrs. Wilkinson’s class, in St. Petersburg.

And as a future teacher, I love the prospect of a pension and a piece. You want peace and quiet in your classroom? Show em your packing heat, every single one of those little shits will shut up in an instant. Kid can’t figure out his multiplication tables? Point to your assault rifle hanging on the wall. Because let’s not kid ourselves, after those Florida deputies showed that they were giant pussies by not going in and stopping that shooter, granted he might’ve been dealing with a black kid in a hoodie but the point remains, if we can’t count on the police to stop a school shooter, we must rely on the steady hand of the alcoholic teacher. Because if there’s one group of people in the world who NEVER lose their cool, it’s teachers.

Now, I realize school shootings are more of an American thing and I am a Canadian, so I will not be given a firearm once I have completed teacher’s college, no matter how many times I write my local MP. But, then again, if my grandpa’s harsh words about the teaching market are correct, I might find myself strapped in the middle of a foreign country and I could not be more excited.

Long gone are the days of having to join the army to get your hands on an M-16, now all you need to do in the U.S. is complete teacher’s college and you can really show those little bastards whose boss. That’s why I have to say, that this is without a doubt, the greatest Idea a state has had since they decided to leave the British Empire.

On the flip-side of things, some stores have succumb to the pussification that is currently grasping the world, as DICK’S Sporting Goods announced this:

Screenshot 2018-02-28 17.00.29

Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this was America. If you can’t buy an assault rifle at a sporting goods store then what’s the point of even entering one. What am I gonna buy? Some football equipment and risk my child’s chances of getting CTE? No thank you. Classic corporate America, telling me how to raise my hypothetical child. As for the whole “children are the most precious gift” is complete horseshit. Children aren’t are most precious gift, an AR-15 with a bump stock under the Christmas tree is.


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