Holy Fuck, Doug Ford Just Won The Ontario Conservative Leadership Race

HOLY SHIT!

I called Brexit, I bet on Trump to win the presidency but even I didn’t think Doug had a chance. I thought he’d be like Yoko Layton and crash and burn trying to run off of someone else’s fame but god was I wrong. Then again, politics is a copycat league, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that the Conservatives went with Trump light. It’s nice to see that an Alex Jones impersonator could become the leader of one of the two major political parties in Ontario. It truly does prove that cancer is the ultimate blessing.

I should probably congratulate the Liberals on their next election victory. I knew the Torries were desperate after the Patrick Brown scandal but I didn’t think they were THIS desperate. I have to assume the Conservatives are throwing in the towel this election and setting their sites on 2022 because I give Doug Ford two debates before he calls Kathleen Wynne a dyke. I can’t imagine how drunk the Liberals will be getting drunk tonight because they were just tossed the biggest political softball that in my lifetime and that’s shockingly saying a lot.

Now, I should probably mention the fact that Ford hasn’t been officially declared the winner of the leadership race.

Screenshot 2018-03-10 18.30.46

That being said, this seems a lot like when CNN kept pretending Trump hadn’t won the presidency because they were so stupefied.

Obviously, I have to mention that I peed in his sink at my pre-prom party. I have pissed in a lot of places but I’d never of guessed one of those places would be in the future Ontario PC leaders sink. What a world.

P.S. It would be a damn shame if Doug Ford got in trouble for allowing underage kids to drink in his place… Damn shame.

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