I have routinely stated on this website that I am firmly anti-sex robots. People act like they’re bad for society because men will never leave their homes if they could fuck a robot, I take the other view. The second we create capable sex robots, women are going to be fucking sex robots left and right until the male race is extinct. Like some Wonder Woman hell-scape. But even despite my biggest concerns regarding robo-human intercourse, I still believe that one has the right to chose whether or not they’d prefer to be pleasured by a robot whose sole existence is based around doing just that, or some drunk dude from the bar who may or may not have whiskey-dick.
Enter the toads. What science is doing here is cruel and inhumane, so much so, that if PETA were to protest these fuck-toads, I’d finally be forced to agree with those losers. Do you know how humiliating it’s going to be for one of these toads when they realize they’ve been fucking a statue the whole time? Sure, a dog would be on cloud nine but not a toad. Everyone knows that toads are sensual lovers and that if one were to be caught fucking a statue they may just commit seppuku for bringing dishonor to his or her species. It’s bad enough that humans are out here licking toads to get high, there’s no need to fuck around with their libido in the name of “science”.
And don’t think for one second that I’m buying this “science” malarky. We know how toads mate, it’s in the Bible. I guess it shouldn’t shock me that a bunch of heathens passed on reading the good book while writing their dissertations. Had these nerds picked up King James’ opus, they would’ve seen that all their toad sex questions are clearly answered in Noah’s Ark. As we all remember that story goes into (possibly) too much detail with how Noah turned his ship into an animal fuck-fest all to save (and study!) god’s most magnificent creatures.