Canada Is Flooding The Streets of China With The Devil’s Lettuce

Well, well, well, how the turntables…..

Funny how the country that got us hooked on opium, is now angry at us for exporting a little weed into their country. I’m surprised Chinese officials can even tell whether or not someone is smoking weed. First off, everyone there seems to rip hoons like it’s nothing and then you have that famous Chinese smog. I refuse to believe that in a country where you need to wear a face mask to fight off the black-lung, you can tell whether or not someone is sparking up.

I’m going to have to assume that China is just doing this because they’ve finally found a market they can’t knock-off. You may be able to knock off Gucci & Prada but you can’t fake good weed. I by no means consider myself a weed connoisseur, I still can’t remember which strain is the one that puts you to sleep and which one is for a body high. To me, getting stoned is getting stoned. But you can 100% tell when you’re smoking some snicklefritz.

I also assume that the Chinese government is against this, since weed seems to be opium’s kryptonite. Everywhere you look these day’s, people are going on about how weed is better for people then opiods since it’s not addicting. Well, if you’re a country that fought in not one but TWO opium wars, you’re going to get a little pissed when people put down the percs and start smoking joints. You know whose bigger then Big Pharma? CHYNA!

There is another reason though that China might be against this sudden influx of the marijuanas, food scarcity. I don’t know if you know, but China has over one billion people. Canada has a hard enough time feeding it’s whole population so I can’t imagine the difficulty the Chinese government is having to ensure that everyone stays nourished. Adding weed to the equation is like lighting a powder keg. Could you imagine trying to feed a billion stoners? Would be goddamn Armageddon. It would make the 1984 Ethiopian famine look like my fridge during the 2003 blackout.

This story has to hurt Trump’s border wall policy. Half the reason he’s building that thing is to keep out drugs and here we have China, a country with arguably the biggest and most beautiful wall being overrun by Canadian Bud. And if a wall that was built to fend of Ghengis Khan can’t stop an influx of Canadian Chronic, how in the hell is a border wall along the Mexican border going to do anything? Then again, rather the wall be to the South of the States and not the North, how else are we suppose to import our weed and heroin for U.S. consumption?

Cue one of the greatest clips from The Office


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s