Donald Trump May Win The Nobel Peace Prize


Finally! Some good news for The Donald. It feels like every time The Donald turns on Fox & Friends he receives a new piece of bad news. Whether it’s; having his personal lawyer subpoena’d, having a pornstar sue him for defamation or hearing that Eric is still, in fact his son. The point is, Trump’s presidency hasn’t been all he had hoped for. He thought it was just going to be signing bills and pretending to drive trucks, not picking the dandruff off of foreign dignitaries. That’s why it’s so nice to see the international community acknowledging how great Trump’s been telling us he is. Trump has said from the get-go that he would be one of america’s greatest presidents and that people would get so sick of winning they may even want to take an L, like when Jesus let the Romans crucify him.

While Trump getting nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize is sure to ruffle some feathers, I think his resume speaks for itself. In the almost two years that Trump has been President he has 1)helped push the “Obama-created ISIS” out of many of their strongholds. 2) Bombed the ever-loving shit out of Syria in a move that could be best described as “flexing”. 3) Has boasted about the intelligence of U.S. missiles and promised “fire and fury” when discussing: Russia, Syria and North Korea. 4) Out-crazy’d Kim Jong Un, so that North & South Korea would make the most progress with each other in over half a century. And let’s not forget that he did all this while pulling out of NAFTA and the Paris Agreement, the latter of which forced China into a majorĀ Green Revolution. You’re welcome, world.

I think after looking at some Trump’s greatest hits, it’s clear that he should join the many Presidents who have won such an award. I mean technically speaking, he’s the first President in how long? To not have American forces in a legitimate war. Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize and all he did was help U.S. international relations and kill Osama Bin Laden. That’s 2 things, my list above clearly states 4. Checkmate Obama. On the flip-side, if your a Trump-detractor, you can easily make the case that a Nobel Peace Prize is as meaningful as a Grammy. For every Malala to win, there have been plenty of horrible people to also share the prize. Off the top of my head, I can think of: Stalin, a man who really mastered the art of Genocide. Henry Kissinger AKA the Grim Reaper himself and one of my personal favourites, Aung San Suu Kyi, the woman responsible for the Rohingya Genocide currently taking place. So before everyone get’s all up-in-arms about a possible Trump victory, just take solace in the fact that plenty of worse people have won this pristine award.

I think the most shocking part of this whole story is how humble Donald Trump has been. By all accounts The Donald is a pretty humble guy, usually going as far as telling everyone around him just how truly humble he is. I guess him and Jared are too busy trying to finally solve the whole conflict in the Middle-East, now that Trump’s taken care of the Korea’s.

P.S. Trump would really be cucking Asia if he won the Nobel Peace Prize for unifying the Korea’s over Kim Jong Un or Moon Jae-In. I might be wrong but something tells me those two guys had a lot more to do with Korean peace talks compared to the angry orange man in the White House. Not to mention, if we’re giving the prize to a foreign aid, it should probably go to China… Trump may think that China is the only reason North Korea can survive (not entirely untrue) but they were also pretty instrumental in getting North Korea to even sit at the table. I guess that’s why Trump’s ‘The Donald’, guy can do a quarter of the work but get all the credit.

P.P.S. The Nobel Prize is worth 1.4 million… Trump could sign a whole lot of NDA’s with that type of guap.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s