Russian Journalist Rises From The Dead

Whelp, I was in the midst of writing a blog titled Russian Journalist Accidentally Walks Backwards Into A Bullet only to find out that this has all been an elaborate ruse by the Ukrainian government. Who would’ve thunk these pesky Uki’s would’ve had it in them? Ukraine’s luck when it’s come to Russian relations have been less then optimal in the last couple years.

There was that time the Russians tried to invade the Ukraine right after hosting the Olympics. Then, the Russians shot down a plane over the Ukraine and tried to blame it on them and then in the last two years, multiple Russian exiles and Putin critics have either found themselves dead via gun shot or car bomb, which led to this whole stunt by the Ukrainian government. It’s not an easy feat to fake someone’s death in 2018, between social media and Amazon’s drone army, it’s almost impossible to go off the gird, even for a few hours. That’s why I have to give a tip of my hat to the Ukrainians. I never would’ve guessed that they were capable of pulling this off and clearly, neither did Putin.

Which brings me to the bear riding elephant in the room. Putin has no option but to invade the Ukraine again, right? You can’t be the country that created arguably one of the scariest security agencies in the KGB, only to get stunted on by a country that’s renowned for it’s pierogie-making ability. The Russians fully thought that this journalist was dead, only for him to rise again like a Russian Jesus. Between having the Ball boys sign in Lithuania and then this, the former Soviet states are out here mocking the motherland . It’s disgusting. You can’t be the country that thwarted American democracy by using a bunch of 16 year olds, just to have this happen. Sad to see the once bad guys of Red Dawn fall so far.

The Chinese security agency would never let something like this happen.

P.S. Here’s was the beginning to my original blog

“Classic accident, that could happen to even the best of us. One moment your enjoying yourself in your nice Kiev home and next thing you know, you’re waking up at the Pearly Gates with two bullet holes in your back. This journalist was an outspoken critic of Russian president and hockey phenom Vladimir Putin”

 

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