Is Omarosa A Dog? An Investigative Report

Earlier this morning President Donald Trump called former White House employee and ex-Apprentice superstar Omarosa “a dog”. As both SaturdayMorningIsMyFavouriteNightofTheWeeks leading animal and political correspondent, I decided to do what any journalist would do. Get to the bottom of the question at hand, is Omarosa Manigault-Newman AKA Omarosa a dog?

After some digging (no pun intended) I was able to discover that Omarosa was born in Youngstown, Ohio the birthplace of Grit, what I could not find however, was whether or not Omarosa was born in a hospital or kennel. So just like our previous President, I’m going to need to see her long form birth certificate before this is all said and done.

Score: President 1-Omarosa 0

With my first set of research proving fruitless, I decided to go with a side by side comparison. A technique made famous in the hit political show Parks & Recreation. When choosing a dog composite, one must be objective, you may not like Omarosa but that doesn’t mean you can say she looks like a bull dog, just like if you like her you can’t say she resembles that of a well quaffed poodle. This is science after-all. That’s why I decided the dog that best fit Omarosa (if she were a dog) was the Siberian Husky

While the resemblance is uncanny with their penetrating gaze and hypnotizing eyes, I still have my doubts because if you look closely in the photo, Omarosa seems to be sitting up, a task that is not easy for dog’s to accomplish, also upon further investigation, I was able to uncover that Omarosa has oposable thumbs and hands not paws. So while the similarities may be striking, I can’t yet put the stamp of approval on this, sorry Mr. President.

Score: President 1-Omarosa 1

Finally, I decided to go to the tape. While photo’s can be doctored, film and television have yet to lie to us. This meant like Bill Belichick, it was time to hit all the 22. After watching a couple videos of Omarosa from her Apprentice days and a couple hundred dog videos, I was willing to come to a conclusion.

While Omarosa may be most famous for being a bitch and using dog-eat-dog tactics throughout her career, I am prepared to say that I am 98% sure that Omarosa Manigault-Newman is in fact not a dog.

A bitch? yes. But dog? No.

*Side Note*

I know this was just a harmless error on the part of the President but I would like him to issue an apology. Dog’s everywhere woke up this morning to the troubling news that they were being compared to one reality TV’s biggest villains. The dog community has been having a rough enough time with the #WhatTheFluff challenge, they don’t need this added to their plate.

 

 

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